I tend to see what’s wrong before I notice what’s right. It’s not that I’m negative on purpose—I just have a mind that constantly scans for problems to fix. While that’s useful in some situations, it can also make it easy to miss the good things happening around me.
Lately, I’ve been wondering: Can you “fake” positivity until it becomes real?
Why “Fake It Till You Make It” Works (Sometimes)
The phrase gets a bad rap because nobody wants to feel inauthentic. But when it comes to shifting your mindset, there’s actually some science behind it. Studies show that forcing yourself to act in a positive way—smiling more, verbalizing gratitude, or focusing on good moments—can actually trick your brain into adopting a more optimistic outlook over time.
Basically, it’s like building a muscle. At first, it feels unnatural. But the more you practice, the more automatic it becomes.
How to “Fake” Positivity in a Way That Actually Works
If you’re someone (like me) who naturally focuses on what’s wrong, here are a few ways to start training your brain to notice the good:
1. Say Positive Things Out Loud
Even if it feels forced at first, make a habit of pointing out good moments. Instead of keeping them to yourself, say things like:
- “That was fun.”
- “I appreciate that you did that.”
- “This turned out great.”
The more you verbalize positivity, the more your brain starts believing it.
2. Smile More (Even If You Don’t Feel Like It)
It sounds ridiculous, but research shows that simply smiling—whether you mean it or not—can actually improve your mood. Try it when you’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed and see if it shifts your mindset, even slightly.
3. Force Yourself to List Three Good Things Each Day
They don’t have to be big things. Just small moments, like:
- Had a good conversation with my kids.
- Finished a small project I’d been putting off.
- Enjoyed my coffee in peace for five minutes.
At first, it might feel like a chore. But over time, your brain will get better at noticing these moments in real time instead of only in hindsight.
4. Reframe Annoyances as Positives
Instead of saying:
- “The house is a mess again.” → Try “This house is full of life.”
- “The kids won’t listen.” → Try “They’re strong-willed, and that will serve them well someday.”
It won’t magically fix everything, but it can help shift your focus from frustration to gratitude.
5. Surround Yourself with Positivity
- Keep reminders of good moments—pictures, notes, or a gratitude journal.
- Listen to uplifting music, podcasts, or audiobooks.
- Be around people who naturally see the good in life. Their outlook can be contagious.
The Key: Don’t Just Fake It—Practice It
The goal isn’t to ignore problems or pretend everything is perfect. It’s about making sure the good things don’t get overshadowed by what’s wrong.
At first, it will feel awkward—maybe even forced. But just like any habit, the more you do it, the more natural it becomes. One day, you might realize you’re not faking it anymore. You’re just seeing things differently.
Have you ever tried this? What helps you shift your mindset when negativity takes over? Let’s talk in the comments!